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Domestic violence cases, whether in the context of an order of protection hearing or a custody case, are some of the most emotionally charged and complex matters in family law. As someone who's been practicing for over 19 years, I can confidently say that preparation is key to winning these cases. If you don’t prepare properly, there’s a high risk of losing.
I’m Kyle Kaufman, a family law attorney based in Wisconsin with HKK Law Offices. Over the years, I've developed a framework for handling domestic violence cases, and I want to share it with you today.
Step 1: Listen to Your Client—Really Listen
The first and most important step in any case is to listen. If you’re an attorney, this is where your job starts. It might seem simple, but it’s crucial to create an environment where your client feels safe and comfortable enough to share their story. Domestic violence victims often experience trauma, and opening up to a stranger can be incredibly difficult.
For clients representing themselves, this step is just as important. You need to listen to your own feelings, take note of what you’ve experienced, and give yourself the respect and validation to acknowledge that your story matters. Trust yourself and your memories, and don't brush them off.
If you’re ready to share your story in a court of law, that’s a brave step. The court must hear your facts in order to make an informed decision.
Step 2: Develop Your Story—With the Right Tools
After listening, I guide my clients to complete specific forms that help them develop their stories. The most important of these is the Safety-Focused Parenting Plan. This form asks specific questions about the abuse—who, what, where, when, why, and how. These might seem like basic questions, but for many victims of domestic violence, these are hard details to recall because they’ve tried to suppress the trauma they’ve endured.
By writing down these details, we gather more information about the events that occurred, helping the victim articulate their experiences more clearly. Even if you are self-represented, this process is crucial. Writing down your story in as much detail as possible can help you see the facts more clearly, and you’ll be able to express them in a more compelling way in court.
Step 3: Review and Refine the Story
Once my clients have completed the forms, we review them together. Often, they are incomplete or unclear, and I ask follow-up questions to gather additional details. This is important not only for clarity but also for helping the client remember more specifics. I want them to be prepared to testify confidently in court.
If you're self-represented, go back over your written story. As you read it, you may notice gaps or areas that need more detail. The more specific you are, the stronger your case will be. For instance, “The event happened sometime last year” is far less credible than “On April 3rd, 2023, at 5:00 PM, the incident took place outside my mother’s home.” Courts place a lot of weight on detailed, credible accounts.
Step 4: Gather Evidence
The next step is to consider the evidence that can back up the story. Evidence often falls into two categories: Witness Testimony and Documentary Evidence.
Think about every potential piece of evidence that could prove your claims. Make a list of all witnesses who could testify about what they saw or heard and any documents that can back up your version of events.
Step 5: Use Discovery to Obtain Evidence from the Abuser
Discovery is a legal process where you can obtain evidence from the opposing party before the hearing. In some cases, you may not have much time for formal discovery, but in custody cases, there are tools such as interrogatories, requests for production of documents, and requests for admissions.
Step 6: Prepare Exhibits for Trial
Once you have gathered your evidence, it’s time to prepare your exhibits. Courts usually require you to file exhibits in advance, and it’s crucial to present them professionally. You can’t just pull out your phone or laptop in the courtroom. Make sure all evidence is properly formatted, printed, and ready to go.
Ensure that you have enough copies for everyone involved: the judge, opposing counsel, and witnesses. You also want to confirm that your exhibits, such as videos or text messages, can be shown in court.
Step 7: Organize Your Witnesses
Next, it’s time to get your witnesses lined up. Witnesses are critical because they can confirm the facts you’ve presented. However, not all witnesses are eager to testify. Some may try to avoid involvement, so you may need to issue subpoenas to ensure they show up.
Your witnesses can include:
If you need a witness to appear remotely, be sure to arrange that in advance.
Step 8: Present Your Case at the Hearing
When the day of the hearing arrives, it’s time to present your case. This is where your preparation truly matters. The key is to be organized and focused. Keep the testimony factual and avoid getting overly emotional. Think of yourself as a reporter telling the story from an objective perspective.
Plan out the questions for each witness, focusing on the key details that will help your case. If you have evidence (such as a threatening text message), use it to corroborate your story or to challenge the abuser’s version of events.
Conclusion: The Importance of Factual Information
Domestic violence cases are complicated, but the most important thing is to get the facts in front of the judge. Whether you're an attorney or representing yourself, the goal is to provide the court with enough factual information to make the right decision.
It’s not just about telling your story—it's about providing the details, evidence, and testimony that will help you get the outcome you need to protect yourself and your children.
Domestic violence is a devastating issue, but there are legal remedies available. If you're facing this situation, seek out professional legal help and consider filing for an order of protection or restraining order to safeguard yourself and your loved ones.
These are complicated matters, and the point of me sharing this information with you is to make you aware of these matters and to help you explore the ideas and concepts.
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